I am not a fan of chick flicks. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy a good romance, but I usually take it in book form. For one, I’m a librarian and can easily find ones with an engaging plot; but mostly, I can add my own tone and cadence to the lines, so they don’t come off quite so cheesy. Not to mention, in my head, every single male lead is played by one of three actors:
I’d pterodactyl that trio.
1. pterodactyl
When a woman performs oral sex on a man in front of her, while at the same time is giving hand jobs to men on her right and left. The resulting motion looks like she is attempting to fly. (Much like a pterodactyl.)
Too far? I went too far, didn’t I? Who let me on Urban Dictionary?!?! Also, is this the correct verb usage?
It’s never too late to start your life… and you’re the only one who can do so.
So take a class, get a better job, put on some makeup, and do whatever else you have to do to make yourself happy.
Not all men want skinny blondes.
If you can’t change it, work it.
There is no “standard” for beauty, but you do have to try… and that’s okay.
Nearly ever other woman is also wearing contacts and waxes her lip.
Adult strangers are rarely as mean as they were in middle school.
So smile. Introduce yourself. Sit down. Chat.
Your family is yours and you are theirs, but their claim on you does not extend to your life decisions.
So date the white guy, the republican, the atheist, or what have you. If you’re okay with it and they treat you well, hopefully the family will get on board.
Regardless, some battles just aren’t worth fighting. An ugly dress never killed anyone.
Nor did an embarrassing comment or bad first impression. Laugh. It’s fine.
Most families are nosy, pushy, and embarrassing. It means they love you.
If they didn’t care, they wouldn’t pry. Thank them.
Relationships don’t have to be dramatic. You can just be nice to each other.
Fights move a plot along, but they end an actual relationship.
Third date sex is not the norm.
If he likes you, he’ll wait.
The people who are already in your life love you and think you’re worth their time. It’s not a stretch to think someone of the opposite sex will, too.
Chin up. People like you.
A wedding is just a party. There’s no reason to hurt anyone’s feelings over a party.
The worst wedding day is the best blog post.
You should hide a relationship until it’s serious enough to justify the hassle of introducing them to your ridiculously large and in-your-business family.
I may have misinterpreted that.
Oh man, there are several members of my family I want to clobber with your last two lines.
Awesome post, Urban Dictionary references aside…
Haha. I actually just updated it a ton and should’ve waited 10 minutes to post it, but thank you!
I love this. Such an awesome movie, and I agree that it has valid life lessons behind it.
Also thank you for teaching me what pterodactyl means. I will now either have nightmares daily or incorporate it into my vernacular and make people feel awkward.
The only thing I hate about this post was when you asked for your $7 back. It reminded me how high above the national average NYC economy really is and made me want to gauge my eyeballs out with a spoon. The last time I went to the movies it was $13 for ONE adult ticket. Super jealous of your midwestern bliss!!
Hahaha. If it makes you feel any better, my rent is $510 for a two bed, two bath with washer and dryer hookups. And you’re welcome on the new vocabulary!
I don’t see how that would make me feel better!!!! 🙂 I need to move, immediately.
Hahahahhahahahahaha OMG as I was reading the definition of a pterodactyl, I slowly started putting the pieces together.
“Okay, giving a blow job. I get that. Alright two hand jobs. Weird, but why does it look like a pterod-
OOHHHHHHHHHHHH my gahd I get it.”
I’m sharing that with all my friends tonight. If they haven’t heard of it already.
Hahaha. I’m so glad I’ve been able to educate my readers on this appalling term.
I reckon I’d probably pterodactyl that trio too. And I’m not gay… Thanks for the intel on that one though.
You’re quite welcome. 😀
I am ashamed to admit that I watch chic flicks…only when I’m TOTALLY BORED AND ALONE.
And I just got married and actually support your last few comments!
I’m just too analytical for chick flicks.
I couldn’t muster up the energy to care about my first wedding, so I really don’t think I’ll care much for the second either. Lol.
I have exactly the same thoughts about 500 Days of Summer. Screw you Zooey – if you don’t want him I will have him!!
I know, right?!?! That was like his cutest year, too!
Pterodactyl.
You just blew my WASPy brain.
Judging by the comments, I seem to have educated many on a new term.
I love this one. The worst wedding day is the best blog post. Have you seen the show Bridezillas. Talk about blog posts.
I have to agree with the last one lol. I have actually made the mistake on several occasions of introducing a guy to my family before it became very serious. There is nothing worse than the inevitable relationship ending and hearing one of two things “Why did you guys break up? He seemed so nice!” or better yet “Yeah, we all thought he was an ass.”
Yeah, there’s just no point unless he’s going to stick around. There’s enough pressure involved to make it work. Glad you agree. Lol.