Of all the complaints people have about adulthood, from paying bills to digging the glass out of the garbage disposal after breaking the cherry jar that got stuck (it happens, y’all), no one ever mentions the thing I’ve found to be the toughest: still being the new kid in school.
I’ll never forget when my daycare teachers relocated me from the four-year-olds class to the five-year-olds class. I lined up against the wall, excited to be chosen and dubbed a “big kid.” Two hours later, I sat in a circle, as strange kids played a game. When it was my turn to contribute, the only response I had was “Can I go back to my old classroom, now?”
Yesterday was my last day at the West Side Library. Today was my first at the North Side Library. I’ve been unbelievably excited about my new supervisory librarian position for the last month. I bought a new, custom-made, lunch bag, because no one ever accused librarians of being cool. I ordered a “super librarian” t-shirt and an “awesome librarian” mug, because no one ever accused me of being modest. I scoffed at my coworkers, as they fretted over change, telling them that this was old hat. I’d only moved from the South Side Library two and a half years ago. But, now that I think about it, it seems I forgot how hard that was, because by the end of my first ever, full time shift, I am…
… overwhelmed. My new coworkers are friendly and welcoming. My boss is awesome and has made it clear that my supervisory duties will be a gradual progression and I’m not expected to immediately know how to make a schedule. I am essentially just supposed to librarian for the first month. I got keys and one of them is to my office! The weekends are finally going to mean something to me and I can save for retirement and actually see a doctor.
But we didn’t interfile the young adult science fiction with the adult science fiction at the West Side Library. We had rickety brown wooden book trucks, not those cute and colorful metal monstrosities. My old manager didn’t use Outlook for anything and now I have to learn to use it for everything, because apparently that’s what upper management does. We didn’t keep the magazines in those magazine covers or shelve all large print with no regards to genre. We didn’t build task forces to deal with problems and we weren’t assigned readings by our manager. I don’t know where anything goes and I can’t remember if their names are Caitlin and Diane or Kayla and Diana. I don’t know where the Newbery Medal winners are, because we didn’t have a special section for them at the West Side Library and don’t knock on my office door, because I’m busy hyperventilating!
This is my big break and literally my dream job. I’m happy. I am. That’s why I chose to make this change. It’s going to be wonderful… in a few weeks. But in the meantime, can I go back to my old library now?
I just switched libraries too…it will all be okay and in a few weeks’ time it will be even better than you imagined. Change is hard and it just gets harder as you get older, I think. Once the routines click and you know the names and they know a bit about you, you will feel right at home. Great post though — captured many of my own feelings about 3 weeks ago.
Thanks for the encouragement! I’m excited and I’m sure it’ll be great. It’s just a tough transition.
Congratulations! Sometimes being the new kids has its advantages. You get to do all kinds of stuff and plead ignorance and no one holds it against you. Most of all though, try not to think to just think about everything you are walking into but also what you are bringing with you. You got the job for your experience and talents that will make your dream job/environment even better.
Thank you! It is very exciting and I know I’m qualified. I’m definitely trying to keep the positives in mind.
This is exactly how I’m feeling in my new position right now: and I didn’t even have to change locations…But, even having my intro- dream job, I’m still treading water trying to figure it all out! Three weeks later, I finally feel like things are settling down…Until I have to bake & decorate a couple dozen cupcakes tomorrow for one of my groups and figure out how to get them all pizza, since that’s what the person before me did for this group…Just think about the amazing things over the past 10 years that have gotten us here, and where we may find ourselves 10 years into the future 🙂
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