Our world today is full of so many stressors and complaints. While one might think a time of year when we emphasize good will and gratitude would dampen that effect, that’s not necessarily the case during the holidays… especially for moms. This is such a busy, expensive, exhausting few months, it’s easy to forget how good we have it. We take for granted so many luxuries for which our foremothers would have happily killed, from dishwashers to Roombas to Baby Brezzas. So, in honor of Thanksgiving, I give you my list of my most loved modern treasures.
Fast Dry Nail Polish
When Jake and I met, he used to comment that my nails were a different color every time he saw me. I’ve never paid for regular manicures, but even working two jobs at the time, I loved painting my nails when I could get a free hour or so. I felt so feminine and put together. After I had my girls, I actually did get my nails done a few times, but found the appointments just took too long and gave them up even before quitting my job would have necessitated it. Until recently, I’ve only managed such a privilege as an at-home manicure for special occasions, if that. I’ve really missed that little thing that was so very me, though. So this summer, I decided to give fast drying polish another go. Surely it had improved since the early 2000s, when it inevitably looked thin, matte, and tacky. Indeed it has, because today I can give myself a decent manicure for $5 a bottle in under five minutes during nap time. Not only that, I’ve already taught my two-year-old daughters this little bit of bougie self-indulgence. At the first sight of a bottle of nail polish, they hop right up onto their little picnic table and hold out their tiny feet, calling ordering me to “Paint!”
Online Shopping
Online shopping is my go-to when adults complain about how difficult life is, today. While we all have our trials, procuring everything from household necessities to custom birthday and Christmas gifts has never been easier in the history of time. I can choose stocking stuffers or restock toothpaste and toilet paper from the comfort of my sofa while Jake and I watch a sitcom after dinner. I can schedule regular deliveries of phthalate-free laundry detergent on Amazon so I never even have to order it myself. I can stock my grocery cart throughout the week and schedule to pick it up without even getting out of my car. No matter our other woes, Samantha Stephens would have given up her magic for the ability to shop online.
Industrial Carpet Cleaner
Long before I met jake, I dreamt of the day I would own a Bissell Green Machine, just like the ones I used to save up to rent at Lowe’s one or twice a year, when I lived in my apartment. Yes. That’s right. While all my twenty-something gal pals were gettin’ some strange, I was fantasizing about an industrial carpet cleaner… and in 2021, my dream came true. Jake’s brother gifted us a $200 eBay gift card he surely won at a rodeo to celebrate our twin girls. After some cajoling and providing a bit of proof that eBay doesn’t actually sell much baby equipment, Jake made me fall in love with him all over again. Folks, there is nothing more disgusting than children, no matter how adored. So this holiday season, as the weather keeps us inside and we host numerous gatherings in our home, I am so very thankful that, unlike my foremothers who scheduled professional carpet cleanings only when budget and time allowed, I can deep clean my rugs and sofa as often as my heart desires. That is, indeed, quite often.
Dungeons and Dragons
Hear me out… in early 2020, I wanted to start a DnD group at the library for my teens, but had no idea where to begin. I knew that my old friend Niki’s husband, Percy, was really into it and he agreed to serve as Dungeon Master. That was almost four years ago and our bi-weekly game night as grown into two separate campaigns led by Percy and Jake. It also now includes three former co-workers I’d never see otherwise. As a somewhat introverted stay-at-home mom, I don’t require a lot of socialization, but these games have been my lifeline to adult interaction that doesn’t center around my children. Every two weeks, I enjoy a weekend of junk food and gaming with friends, without all the hassle of scheduling a get-together, sending invites, collecting R.S.V.P.’s, and planning an engaging evening of fun. The date is set. The activity is set. I might be pretending to be a gorgeous elven sorcerer while doing it, but I get to bask in scheduled grownup time amidst a life of diapers, laundry, and tantrums.
Smartphones
As a millennial, I’ve had a smartphone for most of my adult life. While I’ll admit that they’re often misused and abused, a smartphone makes Mom Life so much easier. I can listen to music and audiobooks all day long. I easily keep up with local, national, and international news. I find recipes online and can reference them while cooking. I’m able to take amazing photos and videos I can post to my family-only Instagram so my Gramma feels like she’s a part of our every day life. I video call Jake at work to show him something cute (or horrible) the kids have done. I can even chat with the women in my romance Discord for some daily adult interaction. Yes, I do utilize blocking apps to keep myself from constantly reading about world events and stressing myself out, but in so many ways, my smartphone is the mother’s assistant previous generations desperately needed.
Photo Album Software
I feel like I have to make it clear here that I am not a paid blogger when I say I’ve been using Mixbook.com to create annual photo albums since 2010. All those pictures I take with my smartphone actually do end up in an album that I work on pretty much constantly throughout the year. I carefully choose my photos and upload them into my project, where I organize them and add captions. The result is a collection of fairly expensive (but totally worth it) photo journals to remember my life… as a single college student, a Girl Boss, a newlywed, and now a wife and mother. Earlier this year, I finally gained possession of my mother’s old boxes of photos. As I’ve been going through them, scanning the pictures to make Mixbooks of them, I’ve struggled to sort the years from the mismatched stacks and albums into any chronological order that makes sense. Though I’m not sure she’d have ever been organized enough to use it, I’m certain my mother would have adored the option to preserve her memories so easily. I can even compile my short phone videos into a longer, more watchable, home movie… when I get the time.
Good Earbuds
Again, not a paid blogger, but earlier this year I searched desperately for good earbuds, comparable to my beloved (but discontinued) Samsung Galaxy Buds +. After trying and returning what had to be half the different options in existence, I found a pretty great alternative (Soundcore Space a40s, if you’re curious). Y’all, if my parents had had the option to turn on “noise cancellation” when I was a kid, I’d probably remember them as being much more tolerant and patient. While this technology only goes so far, it does dampen the sound of non-urgent background whining and fits to a level that makes them far more tolerable. While I’m always aware enough to notice a real emergency, listening to trashy romance novels over the sound of my girls fighting over which identical pink chair they want makes me a kinder, gentler Mama. I’m certain we’d all be much more compassionate toward our boomer parents if we knew what life was like, exclusively at full volume.
Assisted Reproductive Technology
It must be said, as miserable as our infertility journey has been, were it not for science, Jake and I wouldn’t have our family. The stress, tears, debt, awkward appointments, injections, pills, and invasive procedures have all led me here. IVF was always a fear of mine and I’d never wish it on anyone, but my mother having been adopted in 1960 when my grandmother couldn’t conceive, I am so very grateful to have had the options we have today. I’m also thankful for the innovative (though admittedly quite pricey) medical technology living in the U.S. affords us. God, love, and science were in the creation of my precious children, wheras 50 years ago, I’d have had to accept a life without them. I will never forget that.
An Amazing Husband
I will never claim to have the perfect marriage, but I do have a pretty terrific husband. Not only has Jake given me literally everything I’ve ever wanted, he’s done so with little to no complaint. When we got married, he was making $11 an hour, while I made more than half that, because I asked him to leave the oilfield. I’d grown up with a blue collar dad who worked non-stop and simply did not want to be an oil wife. I wanted a family and for my husband to be there to help raise them. I didn’t need luxury clothes or designer purses. I needed Jake and he obliged. He also obliged when it was time to buy a house, pay off my student loans, spend $35,000 to have children, and become the sole bread-winner when I just could not handle being away from my babies. He’s found a way to get us a gently used minivan, decorate cute and comfortable bedrooms for our children, and keep us all clothed, fed, and entertained. He comes home during every lunch break and every night. He’s never, ever, been one to leave everything to me, just because I stay home. He changes diapers, bathes babies, cooks, cleans, and gives me breaks when I need them. He even took on the brunt of twin potty training when it began to overwhelm me. That’s more than any of the women who came before me can say… in fact, it’s more than many of the women in 2023 can say. He’s pushy and overly opinionated and kind of a terrible listener, but Jake is an amazing husband and father. Without him, none of the above would matter, because I wouldn’t be a mom. Those perfect little people wouldn’t exist. This Thanksgiving, I am most thankful for him and the family he’s helped give us.
Belle of the Library 