Textersation Tuesday

 

Halo 5 came out today. When you’re single, you don’t even know that more than one Halo exists.
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I interviewed for, and was passed up for, another full time librarian position. Gail tried to say the right thing…

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I texted Jake the news, as well. He texted back once and called twice. I couldn’t bring myself to answer. I didn’t want to interrupt his video game fun with attempts to console his girlfriend in a dramatic mood, so I let it go to voice mail as I randomly wailed into my frozen pizza. Sigh. Here’s hoping that I’ll read this in a year and smile, because it all turned out okay, just as I’ve been doing with last year’s terrible date stories.

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Textersation Tuesday

Compliment accepted…

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That time I dated Ron Swanson…

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fishing-relaxes-me

Textersation Tuesday

Gail read about my mouse problem

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… but she has some problems of her own.

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When a girl from high school got pregnant after trouble conceiving, I excitedly offered to make her a gift. She essentially responded with “Thanks, but no thanks” and immediately posted pictures of pricey and pretentious baby items she wants.

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Karol had an offer of her own.

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I figured we could trade favors.

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Textersation Tuesday

5-11-15 1

We have not yet reached the Panini Press Owning stage of life.

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We have, however, surpassed the I’m Moving to Hollywood stage of life.

Textersation Tuesday

04-28-15 2We are the cool kids.

04-28-15 1 I’m about 80% sure he didn’t get that pun.

Textersation Tuesday

… also known as “Funny Shit I Found in My Phone.”

Best friends never forget… ‘cept Gail. She forgets everything.

04-15-15

They never judge.

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They read porn together.

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They watch porn together.

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I’m pretty sure, however, that step-sisters don’t… which is why I mailed the porn to her.

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Textersation Tuesday

True friends know to cover sadness with humor. 02-17-15

Textersation Tuesdays

What I’ve been up to since the Internet broke…

… besides crying on the living room floor and talking to the cable guy. True story.

Gail and I talked about our feelings…

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… discussed literature (Rich Dad, Poor Dad)…

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… and shared cooking tips.

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Textersation Tuesday

12-23-14 2

My sense of self-preservation is external.

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So, apparently, is my conscience… like Pinocchio’s.

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However, I take for granted how awesome it is that we have an age difference of less than six weeks.

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